Ok, so the title doesn’t really have anything to do with this entry, other than the random part, that is. I guess it’s just one of those days when I feel like I’ve had something to say for quite a while, but hadn’t yet found the words to express it. So, let’s just jump right on into it, randomness and all and see where we end up.
I guess that you can say that I’m in a just beyond in-between and transition-adjacent season of life, in which everything and absolute uncertainty seem to be occurring at the same time. Days are flying by, with each hour being more productive than the next. Yet, at the end of the day, the week, the month, it’s obvious that something is missing. All needs are taken care of, each breath is there when it needs to be, and love abounds, though admittedly it doesn’t necessarily resemble what was expected. But it’s still evident. Something. Is. Missing.
So, what do I do? In the past, I often moved from impulse to impulse – if I felt bad, I immediately looked for something (or someone) to cheer me up, and unfortunately food and individuals who were not good for me were too easy to encounter and too willing to indulge my moments of weakness. If I felt good, I wanted to do what I could to ride that happiness high for the length of it’s unknown duration. So, treating myself to something that I wanted was an easy and temporarily gratifying choice.
After a while, though, the process of maturing reveals the fact that those “fixes” really don’t fix anything at all. In fact, the underlying brokenness is only temporarily covered up by something that is so fleeting and practically transparent that it could hardly be likened to a bandage. And maturity is so relentless that it won’t allow settling for wannabe bandages, instead insisting on the real thing, healing.
And that, that need for healing, is what brings me face to face with myself and draws my attention to Christ. And I am reminded that only He can fix that brokenness, provide what is missing, and make me whole. That, my dears, is where I am. Allowing Christ to do the mending, all the while trusting Him to take care of me and everything else in the process, and bypassing the easy draw of wannabe bandages, prefering, instead, the full fix. And, now that I think about it, trusting in and leaning on the Lord God, my Father, Who is the King of kings, does, in fact, make me regal 🙂 #sanguinemango
Sanguine Mango 